How To Help Mom Or Dad Start Dating Again

kmAs a child, it is often difficult to get over the loss of a parent or accept separation caused by divorce. You are emotionally charged; there are feelings of sorrow mingled with guilt. And, during this time, when you see your dad dressing up for a date or your mom chatting up with a male colleague, you feel disgusted. There is only one question in your mind – How can he/she do this?

Your feelings and questions are completely justified. However, if you think logically, if you look at it from their perspective, there isn’t anything wrong in your parent seeking companionship again. It is likely that he or she feels lonely. A person who has lived his or her life alone is not disturbed by solitude, but one who has known companionship finds it hard to imagine life without a friend or spouse. Ask yourself would you like to spend the rest of your life alone?

Instead of critiquing their decision, you, as a daughter or son – their own and who understands them best – should support and help them get back into the dating pool and make their lives worth living. Not only this, if you find that loneliness is consuming your parent’s life, you can step forward and motivate them to get more social.

So, just how can you do this? We’ll hold your hand and show you how.

Breaking the News

If you look up the web, there are many middle-aged parents, widowed and divorced looking for advice on the best ways to tell their children about a new relationship. This is because the chances of rejection are higher than acceptance in real life situations.

When your parent breaks the news to you, accept it calmly. Because remember, this new companion is not only to take to dinner dates or family functions but to fulfill a deeper need, to share joys and sorrows while you and your siblings are busy with your lives.

One main reason why children often find it difficult to accept a new member in their life is because they think this member will automatically replace the lost parent. It is not so. Your mom or dad will continue to hold the same position in your life and such a positive mindset will help you accept your parent’s decision to date again easily. This is how you cross the first hurdle.

Avoid Being Over Protective

It is natural to be overprotective of a newly widowed parent. You don’t want their heart to be broken a second time or you don’t want someone dating them for ulterior motives. Many elders choose online dating after a divorce or loss of a spouse, which is becoming ever more popular as a way to find someone new. You can advise and help them by being part of the process and being there for them. Be open and be prepared to address and discuss issues in a healthier way.

Get Social Yourself

Do not compare your parent’s new interest to your other parent. Do not assume in advance that you will not gel well with this new member. Speak to them like you would to any other adult you come across. Your parent will feel happy seeing you interact with their new companion.

Take the Initiative

Each one of us handles grief differently. You may have worked through your emotions, but your parent might still be struggling to come to terms with a loss or separation. After your mom or dad has settled down, you can approach them and ask if they would like to date again. If they agree, you can help them develop social relations. If they are not favor if it, don’t force your opinion on them.

So, give your mom or dad a chance. Support them for their want of love in their life. After all, you cannot cling on to the past; you have to move forward. And, you, with your love, support and care can make this transition an easier one for them.

 

Setting Dating Goals

fWe all have set New Year’s resolutions – weight loss, save money, be organized – but do you set relationship resolutions?

Think about it, have you been dating the same type of personality over and over with the same outcome? You end up alone. Maybe it’s time to reflect on what type of person you should be dating. You could start with a pros and cons list. What attributes or personality traits are non-negotiable? Humor, sarcasm, easy-going, spontaneous, energetic… Which traits are you thinking you should stay away from? Needy, vanity, a spender, a drinker…

Okay, once you have your list, it’s time to reflect, really make sure you’ve been honest with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, it may take a few tries to get your list realistic. Remember, you’re finally being honest with yourself.

I know, the bad boy is exciting – dangerous, unpredictable, exciting – but he also cheats and treats you like crap. I know, I know, the good guy is dull, predicable, and routine. There is a happy medium, you just have to look.

If you’re straying away from your usual type to find a guy that not only lights your fire but treats you well, don’t be surprised if it takes a few tries. We tend to fall back into old habits because its comfortable. You’ll need to practice.

Be patient with yourself and keep your list handy. Guard your heart, it isn’t as picky as your head. It’s easy to fall in love if you don’t think about it, but remember, you’re planning for a successful future. It’s okay to fail along the way, but keep reaching for the stars. He’s out there.

You Need To Know What You Want First

dsWhen it comes to online dating, you must first ask yourself what you are looking for. Are you looking for someone to be your friend in hopes that something more develops. Are you into just a hook-up? Are you looking for your soul mate but realize that you’ll have to go through a number of people to find that match?

Some folks are shallow minded, they want someone with certain looks, height, physical attributes, and hair and eye color, someone nice to look at. Okay, but those are not what make a soul mate, you’ll need more than that. I was considering this issue as I over head a conversation where one gal was talking about her height with her taller friend, they both didn’t want a man shorter than them, because that might not look right. I was thinking that I am 5’10” so about 6-foot with my New Balance sneakers on. I can remember I used to like petite Blonde’s as a younger man, but in listening to their conversation, I thought to myself; I always wondered if shorter women were upset looking up the nostrils of their taller boyfriends or husbands?

So, maybe height does matter very much, but there are other important things to be cognizant of. Here is a potential list of deal breakers:

1. No Drama
2. No STDs
3. No Man-Haters
4. No Air Heads
5. No Lawyers
6. No Gold Diggers
7. No Drug Addicts
8. No Alcohol Abusers
10. No Negative Women

Perhaps, the rest of all the qualities “depend” on the individual you see? Good people are worthy of cutting slack, each individual is an assortment of their observations, experiences, education, genetics, and 5-closest friends. I guess that list and those items are probably common.

If you are jumping back into the dating scene and the whole idea of dating again sounds stressful because maybe it has been a long time and you are not even sure you want to go there, realize you really I don’t have a choice.

You are not alone in being leery about Online Dating, or uncertain about getting back out there again. Being single is a double-edged sword, total freedom, but at times you can tell something is missing. If all that sounds familiar, start making your list, you don’t have to publish it in an online dating profile, but keep it handy, too many red flags and you need to bug out, and think. Please consider all this.

How To Find A Partner After The Age Of 50

meWhen you first started out, you did not expect to see yourself on the dating scene at the age of 50. However, life can be trying at times. Death and divorce put a sudden end to relationships you believed would last for life. A few of you might have also stayed away from getting romantically involved during your younger days for personal reasons. However now, as old age creeps, there is a strong urge inside to search for a new long-term relationship; to look for a friend or companion you can share your joys with and lean on for support in times of trouble.

Dating again after the age of 50 is intimidating, but not as complicated as it sounds. Whatever your goal of finding a partner, with a little effort you make this dream come true.

Coping with Family Reaction

Family reaction is an important dating concern for seniors. It makes many go back and forth on their decision. Although children are immersed in their own lives, the thought of a parent seeking companionship again might affect them; a few accept it openly. Irrespective of the personality and attitude of your child, the best thing to do is communicate your decision in advance. When you do find a partner, introduce the two to each other and promote interaction. This step will not only prevent disappointment, but also make it easier for you to get back into the dating pool.

Meeting People

After you’ve crossed the first hurdle of making your family and relatives understand your need for a companion, it’s time to move out of your comfort zone and mingle. There are varied places to meet new people. Family and friends are an excellent place to start. They know you and your personality traits best and hence might be able to introduce you to likeminded individuals; those you could consider a prospective partner. Attend social gatherings, family get-togethers and weddings.

Another option is senior dating sites. These sites provide the platform on which interested seniors can connect. They are designed for single seniors, widows and widowers and divorcees. Unlike a few decades ago, the number of senior dating sites has grown considerably as its become a great opportunity to meet likeminded others. User activity is often monitored on such sites hence, it is a safe way to connect with compatible mates. However, as always you should exhibit caution in the same way you would do in meeting anyone you don’t know for the first time.

There are offline dating services too. Their structure is similar to conventional marriage bureaus. Here matchmakers choose appropriate people for you to meet. They organize social events periodically to promote interaction between members. Such organizations charge a minimal fee for their services. You can also find a suitable partner by way of your interests and hobbies. You can meet people at a church, at a golf club or political organization.

Think About the Type of Partner You Want

This involves a little introspection; asking and answering a few vital questions. The first is the reason why you want to start dating again and what you expect from a potential relationship. It also involves considering the qualities you would like to see in your partner. As one gets older you have a better perspective of life and know what matters the most. You should not expect to find a duplicate of a past relationship.

Finding a compatible partner takes time and requires patience. Be yourself and be positive. Don’t rush with your relationship. Let it unfold gradually.

How To Make A Man Fall In Love Even With Age Differences

3tIf you ever meet a man and spent a lot of time writing flirty, humorous and lighthearted text messages or emails back and forth, you need to read this to see if he’s truly interested in you or just playing with your heart.

You can have the most amazing conversations and get along extremely well, but if your man isn’t truly in to you, he will leave you hanging.

A lot of women make the mistake of thinking about him too much and what a great catch he is. But do you also find yourself wondering how he really feels about you?

A few weeks or months can go by and he could be hinting at something more if you’re paying attention. Sometimes a man can suddenly be silent and cold. He could stop asking you out on dates, he could stop calling you to confess any secrets, he talks about other women around you, and you’re none the wiser about his feelings. You might start to wonder if you’ve been conveniently slotted into the friend zone.

At this point, you need to do something really fast. Most men need to be physically in close proximity with a woman to stay interested. If you happen to move away or live too far away, that can also affect how much attention you’re going to get. You can’t wait. So first, let’s look at the particular sign you should watch for if a man is interested in you. Men, like you, are looking for signs of obvious interested in a exclusive relationship. A man doesn’t want to risk rejection. In fact, he’s really scared of it. If he thinks you’re not clearly into him, he may put off flirting with you forever. If he doesn’t feel you’re interested in him, he will stop trying. Some men, with shorter attention spans, may move on within an hour of initiating a dialogue if he doesn’t feel a positive response from you, so that’s why you need to act fast.

The best thing you can do is to ask your man what his first impression of you is. It’s simple. If his initial impression of you is a positive one, his brain will seek out bits of information that supports his initial claim. Remember the saying, love at first sight? First impressions mean a lot.

Now let’s be honest here. Dating guys is extremely time consuming and troublesome. If you tallied up the total hours it would take to get to know someone, spend time together and growing a relationship, you might not want to do it. You have to care about a guy on his good and bad days. You have to take precious time out of your already busy schedule to invest in a relationship that may or may not go anywhere. If you’ve worked with him for five months, and you ind you don’t even like the guy, you just wasted five months of time that you can never get back. So make sure he is the one before you invest.